Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tangible Tidbits 2010 #36: A Business Plan & Dreams

I'm doing this today instead of tomorrow because I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head right now and I want to get them out. Sometimes, writing helps. ;)

First, the business stuff. I attended a workshop hosted by SCORE, a group of retired business people who volunteer to counsel entrepreneurs, on "Starting and Managing Your Own Business" at the local library earlier in the week. I am registered for three more workshops with them this fall. The main thing I got out of this one is that I need to write up a business plan. Apparently, they are required if you want to obtain a business loan from a bank. My chiropractor suggested I get a template program from Staples (think "Business Plans for Dummies") and just fill in the blanks. That will be my next big project after I finish with the database, I guess. :\

On the personal front, I raised $104+ for Fondation MIRA in the first round of my Virtual Garage Sale auction. Not too bad, considering there were only half a dozen people bidding. I'm hoping that word will spread over the coming weeks, so that it will attract more bidders. I sold half of the items I listed, so I'm happy to get that much out of my house! LOL

Here's where I will get a little deep, so if you're not interested in that, feel free to disregard the rest of this message. ;) I don't often dream when I sleep, or if I do, I don't usually remember them. Lately, I've been having very clear, detailed dreams. I think I've had four or five this week. The overall theme seems to be loss, isolation, and loneliness. Given everything I've gone through so far this year, it's not really surprising that's where my subconscious goes. What bothers me is that most of the dreams seem to end with a dramatic sad or tragic ending. If the Universe is trying to tell me something, I don't think I want to know what it is! :o Many years ago as a teen, I had a dream that I was an old woman sitting in a rocking chair and I felt myself die. That scared the crap out of me, but the feeling that I will die old and alone has never really left me. In the past few years, I thought I'd made significant progress in dealing with my long-time emotional issues and healing from them. I guess that was just an illusion, because right now, I feel like I'm starting all over at the beginning again, and that I'm still damaged. It's very disconcerting to think that all of the progress I thought I'd made wasn't real. I went off of one of my anti-depressants at the beginning of the summer (with the consent of my psychiatrist), but I guess maybe it's time to go back on it again. :( Most of my life, I've kind of subscribed to the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy. I guess my "act" fooled even me for a while. My question is, if you fake it over a long period of time, at what point does it stop being fake and start being who you truly are? :p

Well, enough of that! Off to get my oil changed and figure out what I'm putting up in next week's auction, which starts on Tuesday night.

Enjoy the weekend and have a good week! :)
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